A Thai body massage in Pattaya starts in the parlour proper. Conducted into a dimly-lit room, you're placed at a small table in front of a row of delectable, fully silk-clad Thai lovelies seated behind a panoramic glass window, each attempting to attract your attention by eye contact and by proudly displaying their ample charms, like a seated class of competing children trying to win a prize.
Traditionally the fishbowl had one way glass so the girls could not see you, but generally these days the glass is two ways and the girls will smile seductively and wave at you. Most parlors have a lounge area by the fishbowl, where you can have a drink and choose your masseuse at leisure. I recommend you buy a drink and relax a bit.
At some massage parlors girls are available in different categories. There are the 'normal' fishbowl girls, then there are sideliners and some places also have a model category. Sideliners are normally a bit more expensive than the fishbowl girls and the models are the most expensive. Sideliners are seated separately from the fishbowl girls and will often cost about 500-1000 Baht more than the fishbowl massage girls. Models can cost anything from 4000 up to a whopping 8000 Baht. Some of them are clearly stunning, but it does not automatically mean that the service is worth the price. So choose wisely.
Having made your excruciatingly difficult choice, similar to choosing from a box of sumptuous, mouth-watering chocolates, you inform the attendant and the lady of your anticipated delectation joins you at your table, makes her introductions and you're both served drinks, to preserve a decent modicum of decorum.
Finally, your unbridled lust having got the better of you and duly paying the fee of 1,500 Baht plus drinks, you allow your sultry Siamese sex-siren, armed with a bagful of soap products and sponges, to lead you by the hand to the allocated bath and relaxation room, where you both disrobe and don towels.
She then lies you down on a pneumatic lie-lo, takes off both of your towels and proceeds to soap you all over with a sponge, turning you over as necessary. During this time, your mind is churning through endless possibilities, either in delicious anticipation, if you're already experienced, or in wild, erotic fantasies, if you're not.
Following this, she runs you a hot bath. Then you're led to a bathtub and helped in. After which, the fun begins and, believe me, even in your wildest reveries, you won't be able to conjure up the delights which are to follow!
She first soaps herself all over using aromatic, liquid soap, producing a rich, oily lather and then she proceeds to soap you all over, likewise. Then your Siamese sanooky (Thai for enjoyment) begins to use her body as a sponge.
This beautiful, slim, young, maiden with rippling, gentle curves of supple power begins to wrap herself around you in ways that defy description; sinuously sliding up and down your body until you are both totally breathless with desire.
Under, over, sideways she slides, so far and no further, pausing and sliding away, just as you're burning to enter her. This continues for about 15 excruciatingly tantalising minutes, by which time you're totally insatiable.
Finally, your tongue almost reaching your chest, she extracts you from the water, towels you dry and finally, satisfies you, real-time.
So, guys, if you've not already done so, book your ticket and jet over for an experience you'd have to live several lifetimes to better.
